The BatClan and the Island that was not from Lost
by RikaWolfe
Summary: "Jasooooooooon! Get back here!" "Haha! Make me birdbrain!" "Damian you little brat! You were trying to kill me, you little demon!" "What are you talking about Gordon? You avoided the boulder, didn't you?" "I'm going to lock you in Arkam, Jason!" "Good! I'll finally get the chance to kill the psychotic clown!"


Barbara moaned in pain. Her back was killing her. Well, more like the parts of her back that she could actually feel were killing her, but it's the thought that counts. It sucked being a cripple sometimes. A lot of the time. With careful movements she used arms muscled from years of fighting crime to pull herself into a sitting position. Shots of pain ran up her up spinal cord and alerted her brain that _you-shouldn't-be-moving-you-moron_. The red head ignored it. She was used to pain.

Blue eyes carefully scrutinized the surroundings. She was in some sort of clearing. Trees surrounded her on all sides. Scraps of metal littered the forest floor. From the plane. She could vaguely recall there being a plane. It was all a little blurry. Why had she been on a plane?

Someone groaned nearby, somewhere from behind her. Somewhere she couldn't see and couldn't turn to see. Barbara froze, her breath caught in her throat. She didn't have her wheelchair and had no way to run. If the person nearby was an enemy she was trapped and weaponless. Her mind couldn't help but drift to grinning clowns with smiles stretched too far and eyes glowing with insanity and bloodlust.

"Ugh, did anyone get the license plate number of that truck that just hit me?"

"Dick!" She cried in relief. It was just Dick, not one of Gotham's famous psychopaths.

"Babs?!" The sound of rushed footsteps on underbrush sounded from behind her. "Babs!" Dick's childish voice filled the small clearing. Barbra couldn't stop a smile from spreading across her face.

Dick grinned, his robin egg blue eyes flashing with happiness. "Babs! I found you!" The vigilante tackled her in a hug. "I was worried! Hehe. I know, I know, just because you don't have legs doesn't mean your helpless."

"You better not think I'm helpless Grayson." Barbara mock threatened.

Dick's finger's brushed his jaw line and he rolled his eyes, "I've been wacked in the face with your bo staffs enough times to know not underestimate you."

"Good, it builds character."

"You sound like bats."

She looked slightly horrified. "I really need to spend more time out of the cave if you can compare me to Mr. Antisocial."

"Oh, come on, Dad's not that bad-" He paused, thinking over what he'd just said. "I've been corrupted, haven't I?"

"Looks like I'm not the only one who needs to get out of the cave."

"And I'm the social one! This just goes to show how messed up us bats are. I mean, just look at Jason."

"Jason's not just messed up. He's just crazy. I guess dying can do that to a person." Dick snorted.

"I hope the others are okay."

"I'm sure they're fine Dick, they are, after all, bats."

"Still… We should probably go looking for them."

"I'm not going to be all that useful in that area." There was a slight bitterness in Barbara's voice.

"You can help be my eyes."

She nodded slowly and let Dick lift her onto his back. Her arms snaked around his neck and in a flash they were moving as softly and quickly as they had in Gotham. For a split second Barbara felt as if she could fly once more.

…

Jason scowled. Today was just _not _his day. He had been forced to get on a plane to and go see _Bruce_, a man he wanted to strangle, hug, and curse at all at the same time. Next, the god damn plane had _crashed. _Now he was stranded on an island with golden boy, Gordon, the replacement, the replacement's replacement/girlfriend, Bruce and Talia's demonic offspring, the assassin, and a bunch of civilians. This had to be karma's way of saying _screw you for not staying dead. _It wasn't like he'd asked for Superboy to punch a hole in reality and Talia to throw him into the Lazarus Pit! He'd been dead at the time for Pete's sake! He didn't even have The Outlaws to bail him out of this one…

"Oh my god! We're going to _die!_" One of the panicked civilians shouted.

"I don't want to be eaten by wild animals!"

"My nails!"

"Shut up you morons! We're not going to die." Jason snarled. He wished he had his gun. He vaguely remembered Nightwing confiscating it at one point so he wouldn't kill anyone.

"B-but this is just like that show _Lost_… What if…What if there's a beast out in the f-forest waiting to e-eat us!?" One of them cried hysterically. This sent the small crowd of civilians into an even bigger panic. Jason's fingers twitched towards a non-existing gun holster.

The sound of a conch somewhere in the distance silenced the civilian's hysterics and Jason's murderous impulses.

"Finally." He murmured. "Okay everybody!" Jason used his listen-to-me-or-I-stab-you voice. "Get in a line and follow me. If you stray from the group we will not be coming back to get you, so you better keep up." Golden boy would be so proud that he was actually helping people with no violence.

They followed the echoing sound of the conch deep into the forest. Soon he and the panting sweaty civilians approached the source of the conch horn. On a platform in the middle of the forest stood Dick, his head arched back as he took deep breaths and blew into the conch sending deafening noise throughout the island. The golden boy had always loved being the center of attention. To his right sat Gordon, her rectangular glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. The ex-batgirl's legs sat unnaturally still, a sign of what the Joker had done to her. The sight of the red headed woman made Jason clench his hands in rage. She was just another reminder of Batman's failure to protect and avenge the people the Joker had targeted. To the golden boy's left crouched Damian, who was scowling. The little demon was always scowling though. At the base of the platform sat the replacement, Tim. Dried blood caked his face and a shallow cut ran across his forehead. The replacement kept glaring at the demon. The demon glared right back. In the trees above Stephanie and Cassandra sat talking animatedly. Well, the replacement's girlfriend talked animatedly. The assassin just stared back blankly with her dark eyes. The blonde didn't seem to mind her dark haired friend's silence.

"Tt. You're finally here Todd." Damian said in his usual I'm-better-than-you voice.

"Sorry _little D, _I was doing my job and helping these poor lost civilians to safety." Jason snarked back.

The demon looked murderous at being called 'little D' by someone other than golden boy.

The golden boy stopped blowing the conch. His blue eyes met Jason's teal. A smile spread across his face. Didn't the idiot remember he'd tried to kill him?

"Little wing!" Jason barely resisted the urge to face palm. Now he remembered why he never went to visit his family.

"Okay everybody!" Gordon's voice projected over the din of the crowd. "As you have noticed, we have been stranded on a deserted island." This caused a few of the civilians to whimper. "We will all need to work together to survive." Damian snickered at this.

"Tt. Like I'd need _their_ help."

"Little D, be nice." Dick reprimanded.

"In order to be rescued we will need to build a signal fire, Tim here," She gestured towards the replacement, "is going to build us an electronic signal. In order to do the we need everyone to give us any electronics you have with you."

"Why should we do what you have to say?" A man cried out from the small crowd of non-bats.

"Because we have experience!" Golden boy took the stage. "All of us have experience with surviving in the wilderness! Tell me, do any of _you _know how to build an electronic signal? Do any of you know how to build a fire? Or shelter? Can you tell poisonous plants from non-poisonous plants?"

"If you don't do what we say you'll all die." Jason added.

That shut them up.

…

Damian wanted to punch Drake. Unfortunately, Grayson would whine and complain at him if he did that and he might tell Father. Damian wanted to please Father. Father would not be pleased if he harmed Drake. Damian did not understand why, he so much better that Drake! Father did not need to keep Drake, Todd, Gordon, or Brown around. Grayson and Cain were tolerable so they could stay, but Damian was still better than all of them!

"Demon, go get more fire wood."

"Make Drake get more fire wood."

"Timmy has to build us a signal."

"My pedigree is superior to his! I should not be forced to do peasant work."

"Pedigree is only for dogs, moron."

"My pedigree is superior to his!"

"Little D, just go get some fire wood."

"_Grayson_!"

Damian went to get fire wood. He angrily threw rocks at civilians. He imagined the rocks were sharp knives with thick metal blades. Damian had learned almost every part of the human body from Mother. It would be easy to hit one of the civilians who lay sprawled out against the hot sand of the beach in a vital spot. The temple, for instance. He only missed because Grayson would be angry if he hit them. Father would be angry if he hit them. It wasn't fair. Grayson had been elected leader. Todd had his little group of civilian hunters. Drake was building a distress signal to get off the island. Damian looked for firewood for a useless fire that they wouldn't even need for long. He was the son of the Detective and the grandson of the Head of the Demon! He should have more important responsibility than collecting firewood.

…

Tim stuck his bleeding finger in his mouth. The makeshift knife he was using to pry open cellphones had slipped and slit his pale skin. Of course the only weapon Jason had to spare was a cheap blade that could barely cut butter. It was things like this that made Tim wonder if Jason still secretly wanted to kill him.

He sighed. If Jason wanted to kill him he probably would have outright told him. It was more likely that he just enjoyed torturing him. It was Damian, the little demon, that he had to worry about. The little monster really did want to kill him. He had to say, the feeling was mutual.

Tim tried to pry open another phone. He just got blood all over the nice case. If Damian could see him being defeated by something as simple as a phone he would be on the floor laughing. Tim was suddenly very glad he had decided to find a place on the island to work in privacy.

It had been almost a week and a half since Tim had started working on the signal. He was having more trouble getting civilians handing over their beloved electronics than anything. Dick had had some issues with a few people convinced that they were in _Lost _and that a beast was coming to get them. It was sad that Tim was so used to Jason and Damian's antics that he didn't even blink when the person who suggested the idea of a beast mysteriously vanished. The only beast anyone really had to worry about was insanity. Lack of civilization had its way of digging its way into someone's mind. For people like the demon and Jason whose minds already balanced on the thin line that was sanity, being away from order could to terrible things to the mind. Damian had recently joined Jason's little group of blood thirsty hunters. If Tim didn't get the signal finished quickly he saw no way their time on the island could end well.

With a sigh and blood still dripping Tim began the long process of connecting wires in the correct order.

…

Jason stared at his band of civilians and couldn't help but giggle. If golden boy was here he would probably say that he sounded like the Joker. For once, Jason couldn't bring himself to care. They were _vicious._ There was no other way to describe them. They chanted and danced and pranced around like frikin Satanists. One had even decided that they need to _please the beast_ and had left a recently beheaded swine head spiked on a stick in the middle of the forest. It was crazy. They were perfect little minions. All he had to do was rub some clay on his face and give them some food and they did whatever the hell he wanted!

A day or so ago two of the civilians had climbed up the mountain and come down screaming that the beast there was up there. Jason had ignored their mad ramblings. Over the past week there had been heated debates on if there was a beast, and if it was from the land, sea, or sky. Dick had tried to subdue the beast frenzy but to no avail. Jason couldn't help but laugh as everything blew up in his big brother's face.

Despite his annoyance with the beast thing, Jason was not a person to miss out on an opportunity. The people's fear had led many to leave peace loving Dick and his calmer siblings to join him and his lovely little hunters. Damian had joined him early on, muttering something about being better than the replacement and that he'd show them.

Another good thing about his new leadership role was the parties. They weren't like the ones he's gone to with Koriand'r and Roy but god they were fun. Full of meat and his minion's creepy chanting.

Plus they'd almost killed the replacement! For some reason sleep deprived hallucinating Tim with a dead guy's parachute looked like the beast. How he'd never know. Even when sleep deprived the replacement had easily escaped his follower's clumsy attacks. He'd run off muttering about 'lord of the flies' and 'need coffee'.

All in all, Jason was really starting to enjoy his time on the island.

…

Dick banged his head against a tree. As soon as they got off the wretched island he was personally going to lock Jason in Arkam. His little brother was completely and utterly _insane. _He'd corrupted the poor innocent civilians with his insanity. They'd tried to kill poor Timmy and steal Bab's glasses. This was unacceptable. It didn't matter that Barbara knocked the poor guy who tried to steal from her out; it was the thought that counted! He was going to have a nice long talk with Jason.

"Damn it, Grayson! Don't you dare leave me behind!" Dick flinched. He'd hoped he'd be able to sneak off and go yell at Jason without her noticing. It was a nice thought, unrealistic, but nice. Hanging his head he went back to get the angry ginger. Cassandra and Stephanie just looked amused. Girls, he decided, were crazy.

…

"And Timbo was just so cute! He wouldn't stop blushing and it was just _so _adorable." Stephanie twirled a blonde lock on her finger. Cass nodded slowly showing that she understood what her sort of sister was saying. The look of confusion on her eyes said otherwise. "He was just a nervous wreck!"

"Jasooooooooon! Get back here!"

"Haha! Make me birdbrain!"

"Damian you little brat! You were trying to kill me, you little demon!"

"What are you talking about Gordon? You avoided the boulder, didn't you?"

"I'm going to lock you in Arkam, Jason!"

"Good! I'll finally get the chance to kill the psychotic clown!"

"He even got me a bouquet of roses, the sweetie!" Stephanie grinned.

"Should…stop…them?" Cass asked with her limited speaking ability, pointing at her squabbling siblings.

"Ehh, they'll be fine… Have I told you about the time I saved Timmy from Poison Ivy?"

"Mwahahaha! I have finished!" A sleep deprived Tim came barging out of the forest. "I HAVE FINISHED! Hahahahaha!" With that said Tim proceeded to collapse on the wet sand, asleep. He clutched his handmade signal to his chest like it was a teddy-bear.

"Awww… I wish I had a camera." The current Batgirl whined.

"Jasooooooooon!"

…

An hour later Batman and Hal Jordan arrived on the island to a strange scene. Dick was chasing a paint covered Jason around with a stick, Barbara was yelling at Damian, Tim was unconscious, and Stephanie was gossiping at a confused looking Cassandra. The civilians were huddled together chanting about a beast.

"You have some very…strange children." The Green Lantern looked at him, waiting for an explanation. Batman just sighed. Sometimes he wished he'd stopped at one.

_~Finn~_


End file.
